


To Love and Be Loved

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-20
Updated: 2013-12-20
Packaged: 2018-01-05 06:10:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1090554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For the Miserable Holidays 2013 exchange!</p>
    </blockquote>





	To Love and Be Loved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pwnmercys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pwnmercys/gifts).



> For the Miserable Holidays 2013 exchange!

It was years before Marius realized.

How was he to have known? Courfeyrac had never said anything, had never seemed less than happy to help Marius like that; in fact, he had been the one to suggest it, after another long night of sitting on the floor of Courfeyrac’s flat, back pressed against the wall, pining after Cosette.

Now, Marius and Cosette were strolling along Rue de la Verrerie, and Marius was brought back to all of those afternoons and nights spent there with Courfeyrac. He paused, trying to remember. Had it really already been four years?

He didn’t realize he had stopped on the street until he felt Cosette’s hand slip out of his. “Is something the matter?” she asked, turning toward him.

Marius shook his head and forced a smile.

“Is it your leg again? Do you need to rest?”

Almost instinctively, Marius’s hand reached down to clutch at his leg where it had been injured during the uprising. He walked with a slight limp, but it wasn’t particularly painful today. All the same, Marius was happy for an excuse to sit down. “A little,” he managed, and Cosette grabbed his hand again to lead him to a bench a little farther up the street.

Still absorbed in thought, he sat down gingerly, feigning the pain in his leg. Cosette remained standing, looking at him worriedly.

“We passed a cafe earlier that looked like it had some nice éclairs,” Cosette said, “do you want to rest here, and I’ll get some for us?”

Marius couldn’t help but smile this time; Cosette was endlessly patient with him, and seemed to believe there wasn’t any ailment that couldn’t be cured with sweets.

Without waiting for a proper answer, Cosette smiled back brightly, before letting go of Marius’s hand and scurrying off back toward the bakery. He watched her until she was almost out of sight before letting his thoughts wander back to Courfeyrac.

Courfeyrac was the only person Marius had ever known with a smile as bright as Cosette’s. He would sit and listen to Marius talk about Cosette for hours at a time, back then. He tried to picture it in his mind: Courfeyrac’s flat as it had been, Marius in his shabby clothing and too-long hair, Courfeyrac’s easy smile. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he tried to recall how it had started.

  
  
  


“I would not even know what to do,” Marius complained, before realizing his admission and flushing.

“You’ve never been with --”

“I’ve never kissed a woman,” Marius admitted.

Courfeyrac laughed, a warm and friendly sound; Marius knew it wasn’t intended to be malicious, but still felt his face redden even more.

“I am going to make a fool of myself.”

Courfeyrac’s laughter subsided. He looked at Marius and sighed, but the warm smile was still present in his eyes. “Treat it the same as you would any other art, Marius,” he said.

“And how is that?”

“Practice!”

Marius let out a mirthless laugh. “With another women? Even if I -- I could not -- that would be unfaithful.”

“And tell me, Marius, the name of this woman you would be unfaithful to.”

“Ursula!” Marius exclaimed immediately, before colouring again. “That is -- perhaps her name is not Ursula. But her name is not the issue! I am in love with her.”

Marius thought he could see Courfeyrac roll his eyes, but he did not push the issue. “So, not another woman then.”

“Who does that leave?”

Courfeyrac eyed Marius, and then shrugged.

Marius’s eyes widened. “Surely you aren’t saying --”

“Why not?” Courfeyrac interrupted, “I’m not a woman, you wouldn’t be unfaithful; if you love her, this will make her happy, and you won't have done anything wrong.”

Marius kept his eyes fixed on Courfeyrac. “You want to kiss me?”

“I want to help you.”

“I don’t need help!” Marius felt his face flush again, just as soon as he thought its colour might have returned to normal.

Courfeyrac laughed again, good-naturedly. “Yes, you do, my friend.” When Marius didn’t reply, he continued, “relax. It’s no trouble to me.”

Marius exhaled, and looked around him, eyeing the space between him and Courfeyrac. Courfeyrac simply smiled back and gestured to the space next to where he was sitting, cross-legged, on his bed. Marius got quickly to his feet and sat lightly on the edge of the bed next to him.

“The secret is confidence,” Courfeyrac said, “you cannot kiss her -- you cannot do anything -- until you think yourself capable of it.”

“I cannot --”

Courfeyrac put his hand under Marius’s chin, silencing him as he turned Marius’s face slowly toward his own. “Confidence,” he repeated, the smile gone from his face, “and eye contact.”

Marius looked into his friend’s eyes; their faces were nearly touching and there was not much place else for his eyes to look. Even this close, his eyes were as warm and welcoming as ever, and Marius felt himself relax as Courfeyrac pulled him closer. Marius began to slowly shut his eyes as Courfeyrac tilted his head, but right before their lips would have met, Courfeyrac pulled back.

“You will be the one taking the lead with this girl,” Courfeyrac said, “not me. Pretend I am her.”

Marius nodded, swallowing. He had not noticed his hands balling up into fists while resting on his thighs; with some effort, he pulled one up, bringing it to rest under Courfeyrac’s chin as Courfeyrac had done earlier. He tried to keep his focus on Courfeyrac’s eyes.

“Your hand is shaking,” Courfeyrac informed him.

Marius pulled his hand back as though he had been burned, turning his body away from Courfeyrac. “I can’t.”

“Marius.”

“I am going to look like a fool!”

Courfeyrac sighed. “Marius, look at me.”

Marius turned back to look at Courfeyrac, defeated. Courfeyrac was looking at him intently, but thoughtfully.

“Like this,” he said softly, before placing his hand again under Marius’s chin, bringing their faces closer together as Marius tilted his head, letting his eyes shut.

Courfeyrac did not stop himself this time; his lips were soft against Marius’s, the kiss slow and gentle. It was short, and yet it felt like a lifetime; Marius could feel his heart pounding in his throat. His head was spinning even as Courfeyrac pulled away.

“That’s all,” Courfeyrac said simply.

Marius nodded as he felt his pulse return to normal, and then turned back to Courfeyrac. Steeling himself, he pressed his hand gently against the back of Courfeyrac’s neck, earning him a delighted smile.

Their lips came together quicker this time. Marius kept his mouth closed, but kissed Courfeyrac firmly, clenching his free hand to relieve some of the tension he felt throughout his entire body. It was hard to believe it was Courfeyrac’s lips against his, Courfeyrac's head under his hand; he was pliant and willing, and he was not pulling away from Marius. Marius was kissing him, he was kissing somebody, and the world had not collapsed around him.

When they separated again, Courfeyrac looked winded. He took a second to shake himself, before smiling brightly at Marius. “That’s it!”

Marius had turned away from Courfeyrac again, staring at the floor between his feet, his thoughts swimming but a smile on his face.

“I do believe you have a natural talent,” Courfeyrac joked, laughing.

Marius laughed too, nervously, before turning back toward him, raising one of his knees up on the bed and leaning over Courfeyrac. He kissed him harder this time, parting his lips as Courfeyrac wrapped his arms around Marius’s back, pulling their bodies close together.

  
  
  


“Éclairs, Marius!”

Marius was shook from his reverie by Cosette’s bright voice and even brighter smile as she stood before him, delicately holding a couple of éclairs. She handed him one before sitting down next to him on the bench.

“How is your leg?”

Marius rubbed at it. “Not as sore now,” he replied.

“Wonderful!” Cosette chirped. “I knew a little rest was all you needed.”

Marius smiled at her before taking a bite out of his éclair.

He should have picked up on it back then; the look Courfeyrac had in his eyes before Marius kissed him was the same one he found in Cosette. It had gone beyond what Marius could now justify as simple preparation. They had continued kissing and holding each other for weeks before Marius finally used those skills to kiss Cosette.

But Courfeyrac had never seemed upset by Cosette’s presence in his life, but rather was happy whenever Marius was with him. Marius found himself wondering if he looked the same way after being kissed by Courfeyrac as he did being kissed by Cosette. Both of them seemed to make his stomach jump, his heart race, his skin --

“The sun will set soon,” Cosette noted, licking her fingers as she finished her éclair. She nearly jumped to her feet before leaning down and giving Marius a quick kiss before helping him to his feet. A grin spread across his face and he felt his heart warm. With both Courfeyrac and Cosette, he loved, and was loved.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written this pairing before, and if I'm going to write/care about amis I'm happy it's these two! 
> 
> This was actually a pleasure to write :)


End file.
